Dear Baby, I Love You....Please Get Out.

(Photo by Lindsay O.)

Okay, I've decided it's time. Time for her to come. I decided this a long time ago, before it was really healthy for the baby to be outside the womb. But it's perfectly safe now! So, let's get a move on it!

My midwife got my hopes up last week saying she might help move things along to get contractions started. (She doesn't want me to go too long with gestational diabetes.) However, at my last appointment, she checked and said, "Wow, you're not even close. You are not ready to have this baby." Wait, wait....yes, I am! She asked how I was feeling and I said, "I'm ready to be done." She cocked her head to the side and asked, "Why the eagerness to be done?"

Um, seriously????

Does that question really need to be asked of someone who is 9 months pregnant? I think not. But if you'll humor me, I'll give you my list of reasons of why I'm "eager to be done." And please understand that I am thrilled to be having a child. This blessing did not come at the snap of our fingers and we feel honored to be given this gift. I would do it again, because she is already so wanted and loved. She is worth every ache and pain. That being said, instead of seeing this as a list of complaints, please see this as my wish list for post-pregnancy:

10. I want to sleep on my back and stomach! Sweet bliss!

9. I want to be able to hug my husband tightly without bending my body to accommodate for the belly. I feel like I'm unwillingly hugging an awkward acquaintance.

8. I wanna eat carbs!!!! Bread. Noodles. Noodles on bread. Cake. Ice cream. Ice cream cake. Fruit! Juice. Fruit juice....you get the idea.

7. I would like to visit the bathroom less frequently. I feel like I live there.

6. I would like bend-ability back. Easily tying shoes, grabbing things off the floor, putting on pants, and sitting in certain positions would all be luxuries.

5. Not having the "What is going on with my body????!!!!!!" feeling wouldn't be horrible. Being the hypochondriac that I am, pregnancy has been quite the experience. I've had many Should this really be happening???? moments....on an hourly basis.

4. Oddly enough, I'm excited to zip and button my pants again. Maternity pants, though comfortable for a time, are not oh-so-flattering and can make me feel like a toddler with elastic waist pants.

3. I could do with less back and body pain.

2. Keeping it G-rated and avoiding T.M.I overload, I have about 5 unmentionable reasons for being ready. Hey-o!

1. And of course, I want to meet the Bean! I wanna hug and kiss her up. And then I wanna give her a piece of my mind for hurting her mommy for the last 9 months. And then I wanna snuggle her some more.

Any day now.....