And the Award Goes To:

Let me set the scene for the dramatic "movie" that was our life last night.

Place: Right outside our window in the parking lot of our apartment.

Time: 2:30 am-3:30 am

Plot: Gerrit and Cassie, once sound asleep in their bed, are awakened by the sound of 5 or 6 drunken twenty-somethings coming home after what seems to be a rough night on the town.

Soundtrack: Instead of music, a symphony of ear-splitting noises, such as: the dragging of stilettos on asphalt when the defeated wearer can no longer lift her feet; the sobbing and yelling of said Foot Dragger; the click-click-click of the stiletto wearer who is supporting her; the laughing of the Frat Bros around them.

But wait! The plot thickens! The Drunk Foot Dragger makes a run for it to her car! Screaming:
"I'm going home! I'm going home! I hate Erin/Aaron!"

Suddenly realizing the seriousness of the situation, the frat bros burst into action.
Frat Bro #1: Give me your keys. You can't go home like this.
Frat Bro #2: Just come inside. Erin/Aaron isn't worth all this trouble. Man, I don't have any shoes on.
Supportive Stiletto Wearer: Just come inside, sweetie. We'll figure this out.

Cassie: WHY? WHY AM I AWAKE FOR THIS????
Gerrit: I know, babe. I know.

Drunk Foot Dragger turns on the ignition. Cassie and Gerrit rush to the window to witness what is about to unfold. The Frat Bros struggle to get Foot Dragger out of her car. With some success they drag her into the apartment building.

Cassie: (grumble, grumble)

But just when Cassie and Gerrit thought the worst was over, the Drunk Foot Dragger escapes to her car with a Frat Bro yelling behind her. The Foot Dragger starts her car and begins to pull out of the space when Frat Bro throws himself onto the trunk.

Foot Dragger: Just let me go! Get out of the way! (HONK! HONK!)
Frat Bro: No, you can't drive like this!

In her sleepy stuper, Cassie dials 911 and explains what is happening outside.

Foot Dragger: MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! (HOOOOOOOONK!)
Frat Bro: You're gonna have to kill me first.

Cassie tells operater: He's in front of the car saying, 'You're going to have to kill me first.' Oh crap, she's driving away.
Operater: Can you tell me the make of the vehicle?
Cassie (still in stuper): No, I'm sorry. Everything is covered in snow. It a dark colored compact.
Operater: Thanks. (click)

The Frat Bros make their way back inside. Gerrit and Cassie try to slip back into sleep. Gerrit finds more success. Cassie must now go to the living room and try to fall asleep to Pride and Prejudice. (grumble, grumble)