Saturday, March 21, 2015

Questions for the Working Mother

The following is a sample of a conversation I frequently have when getting to know new people outside of work: 

REAL CONVERSATION:

Me: My name is Cassie. My husband is Gerrit. 
Newbie: Nice to meet you. Who are these little people?
Me: These are our kids, Adeline and Reyer. 
Newbie: What do you and your husband do?
Me: My husband is an IT Manager and I am an HR Generalist. 
Newbie: Do you work full time? 
Me: Yup. 
Newbie: Oh....huh...... What do your kids do while you're at work?
Me: They go to a daycare that we really like. 
Newbie: Wow, that must be really hard to drop them off. 
Me: Yes, but they are very social, so that makes it easier, knowing they enjoy it. 
Newbie: Do you think you'll stay home one day? 
Me: I would, but it's not an option right now or any time soon. 
Newbie: You must be so busy. How do you do it all? 
Me: Ha! I don't. You should see my bathroom. 

And then we laugh and laugh.....

HOW I WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER:

Me: My name is Cassie. My husband is Gerrit. 
Newbie: Nice to meet you. Who are these little people?
Me: These are our kids, Adeline and Reyer. 
Newbie: What do you and your husband do?
Me: My husband is an IT Manager and I am an HR Generalist.
Newbie: Do you work full time?
Me: Well, I sure do! Can you believe it? Sometimes they even let me use the computer at work.
Newbie: Oh....huh....What do your kids do while you're at work? 
Me: Oh my gosh....I don't even know. Am I supposed to provide childcare for them? We usually leave them home and hope for the best. 
Newbie: Wow, that must be difficult to leave them all day. 
Me: No, it feels good shutting my heart off when I walk out the door. But the uncomfortable business casual outfit makes up for it.
Newbie: Do you think you'll stay home one day? 
Me: No way. Kids are gross. I just had them for the tax benefits.
Newbie: You must be so busy. How do you do it all? 
Me: Drugs....so many drugs. 

Alas, I cannot answer the way I would like to because it would be rude...just like the intrusive, pointed questions. 

Here's what I find interesting:

1. No one asks these questions of Gerrit. "Do you work full time?" and "What do your kids do while you are at work?" would be odd questions to ask a man. Why? 

2. Women, and I think Christian women in particular, are somewhat expected to stay home at some point in their child's young life. However, the woman so many others look to as an example in the Bible is the Proverbs 31 woman, who was herself a working mom. The Bible says she rose early to sell her goods, she bought and sold property, she supervised servants, she kept her home in working order, and was called blessed by her husband and children. 

All mothers are working mothers.

Throughout history, there have been many mothers (and fathers), who love their kids and who stay home with their children. That's amazing! What a great opportunity! 

AND there have been many mothers (and fathers), who love their kids and who go to work either because of financial necessity or because of a desire to be in the workforce. That's amazing! What a great opportunity!

So, dear friends, let's stop asking the intrusive questions of strangers. Let's support one another through healthy choices made and healthy choices made for us. 

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